I have a habit of piling things on top of my dresser.
My dresser isn't small, it's just narrow. Tall, but not wide. My habit is pretty bad when I hoard a bunch of things I don't need. I decided to tackle my dresser top so I can actually reach my jewelry box and see the picture in the frame that is placed nicely next to it. I walked up to my dresser and stared at it for a while, questioning myself about actually cleaning it off. But I did.
I started to clean it off and noticed I had a bunch of nail polish I didn't even know I had, along with jewelry. I had old notes from friends and I read them before I tossed them or set them aside, and it was nice to go back in the past for a little bit. It made me think of easier times that I wish I could have back. I couldn't believe how much stuff I was hoarding on the top of my dresser. It's not because I'm too lazy to clean it off or anything, I just can't bring myself to throw them away because it brings back memories and I don't know what to do with it, so I put it on my dresser for "safe keeping."
To my surprise, I threw away most of it. It felt weird, but it also felt good. Some of the notes I kept were painful to read, whether they were rude or from a friend I am no longer friends with, so I tossed them and it feels like a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders. I know it's weird to say that cleaning off my dresser made me feel better, but it really did. Those notes kept me together in a big mess kind of way. Just like people who have messy rooms know exactly where everything is..that was me. A person held together by so many bad memories, but I now know what it all is, and I can get rid of it.
When I was doing this task of cleaning my own room, I know exactly how you feel about throwing something away and getting rid of that burden. While cleaning my room, I noticed that the more clothes and shoes and little unnecessary things that I got rid of, the better I felt. Weirdly enough, a lot of those things did have negative connotations of my past. So I absolutely know how you feel. I think it is AMAZING that you have come to this recognition of being able to get rid of these things and know that you're strong enough to. I think it's great! Good for you and keep working at it! :)
ReplyDeleteHaving to go through a process that involves throwing away potentially essential things in your life can be difficult. I can relate to the feeling of looking at a bunch of old stuff in my room and drawers and wondering what to do with them. I didn't want to throw anything out because even the small things had some kind of contribution to my past. I also find relation to people in some objects, perhaps if they were given to me by someone, and those are the ones that I found hardest to throw out. Well eventually I did too because I realized I can't keep memories stored in things I throw keep around my room, rather, life is about creating new memories.
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